Advent Reflection

Jesus said, "Stay awake, for you do not know when the Master will return." (Mark 13:35) "Prepare a way for the Lord, make straight his paths." (Mark 1:3)

The Advent season has started. It's a time for each of us to examine our conscience and reflect our lives: Do I remain attentive for the voice and presence of Christ in my everyday life? WIll I truly change now to live day by day to be ready for the Lord's return? How does the light of Christ shine into the world through my action?

I met my spiritual director last week. She reminded me that Advent is not only a time for us to wait for the coming of Jesus, it is also a time in which God is waiting for us -- waitiing for our response to his love. It is not a time of passive waiting, but a time of active response.

In a mass at the Franciscan school last week, Fr. Richard Gula also told us that we have a role to play in God's grace. In his homily, he said Advent is a time for us to prepare for repentance. He saw an order among God's grace, our repentance, and our holiness. With the example of Our Lady of Mary, he said God gives grace to us first, then he helps us to become holy; not because of our holines that he chose us. Mary is not someone big so that God chose her; she is a young girl that no one aware of, but God chose her and she became holy.

With God's grace, we can become holy if we respond to his grace and love. We don't need to worry that we have too little power or strength to do anything. In another occasion, Professor Gula told us a story of an "Advent person." A computer engineer once spoke in a TV interview that he as a vision, that all children in the world can own his/her computer so that they can connect to the world and know what happens in other part of the world. He know that this dream may not come true in his life time but he starts achieving this dream through his own action. From his action, we can see that he belilves in hope and love though there are many obstacles ahead.

Each one of us may have our own vision and dream. Sometimes the dream is big and not easy to achieve, such as improving the lives of the poor, saving the planet from further deterioation, having democracy and human rights in certain parts of the world...However, as long as we have hope in God, we just need to try our best to do our parts, God would help us to complete this vision, which is also his plan.

Advent is indeed a time of hope. With the coming of Jesus Chirst, we can see the hope he brings to this earth. We can make this hope more concrete and let others see more clear through our own attitudes and actions.

Whose Minimum Wage? How to decide Minimum Wage

After many years of fighting by the labor groups and debate among various political parties, the Hong Kong government finally agreed to enact a minimum wage legislation recently. In the annual policy address on October 15, 2009, the Chief Executive of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region Mr. Donald Tsang Yam-kuen announced that a cross-sector minimum wage bill will be drafted and introduced during the current 2009-2010 session of the Legislative Council. This is indeed a positive step in upholding labor rights. However, if the bill is to be made in a way which can really protect the livelihood of low-income class and lead to lives of dignity, at least two factors must be considered carefully. One is the level of the minimum wage; the second is the target to be covered by the bill.

Firstly, setting an appropriate and reasonable level of minimum wage is a must if we don’t want to see the new minimum wage law in Hong Kong become a facade of labor rights. Many labor groups and non-governmental organizations support an hourly rate of no less than HK$33 (about US$4.3), which means a 3-person family’s monthly income is about HK$6,100 (about US$780). This is about 60% of the median wage. Setting the minimum wage at this level means that about 20% of the working population will benefit.

This figure is proposed according to the international standard of minimum wage in which a living wage is employed as a criterion. This is indeed a reasonable demand in the face of the present living standard. A Living wage affirms the principle that income should be able to support the basic living of family members, as well as to provide other kinds of basic protection and development. In this way, workers can improve their family lives through work and help the next generation to come away from the existing environment of poverty.

However, the business sector and the Hong Kong government opine that a minimum wage is not intended to cover basic living standards. The business oriented Liberal Party once stated that the minimum wage does not aim at eliminating poverty, but it provides basic protection. The Chief executive Donald Tsang even said that the minimum wage does not necessarily support a family. In his policy address, when talking about the level of minimum wage, he considers more the factors such as existing wage levels of different sectors, employment statistics, business operation costs and the competitive ability of Hong Kong. Rather than emphasizing the basic needs of the vulnerable workers and their family members, it is obvious that the overall economic development of the city is more important to Mr. Tsang. Maybe he still believes naively that the wealth in the society can trickle down from the top strata to the lower strata of the society despite so many years of failed experiences.

With such a mindset of endless pursuit of economic growth, it is not a coincidence that the city of Hong Kong has repeatedly won two number ones in the world -- the freest economy in the world voted by the neoliberal US think tank Heritage Foundation, and the biggest wealth gap among all the advanced economies in the world as shown in the United Nations Human Development Report. The most recent 2009 UN report shows that Hong Kong’s Gini coefficient[1] of 43.4 surpasses the 42.5 of Singapore and the 40.8 of US among the most developed economies. Behind this statistic is the reality that there are 19 tycoons in Hong Kong who each own over ten billion Hong Kong dollars of wealth whereas there are more than one million people, regarded as the population in poverty, whose family income cannot support a decent life.

It is this background that makes me really concerned about whether the minimum wage can help the workers to lead a decent living standard. At present, the business sector and the government incline to set the wage at a lower hourly rate level of HK$24 (US$3), the amount was equivalent to HK$4,992 (US$640) a month for someone working an eight-hour day, 26 days a month. This wage level is about 50% of the median wage and only about 8% of working population will benefit from it. This level is even lower than the welfare assistance level provided by the government. Many workers prefer to earn a low income rather than applying for welfare assistance because they do not want to be labeled by the society as dependents or lazy people. As a result, they fall into the abyss of working poverty.

Furthermore, Mr. Tsang neglects the fact that money, of which the main source for most workers is their wages, apart from allowing people to consume basic necessities, also provides social meanings of belonging, standing and identity in a society. In a market-oriented society like Hong Kong, the ability to consume becomes a symbol of being a full member of the society. People living in poverty may be discriminated against and despised by other people. In order to avoid the cold shoulder and disdainful look of others, they avoid social and community life, thus creating the effect of a devalued citizenship or unequal membership in society.

In his book Spheres of Justice, political philosopher Michael Walzer argues that “unless we can spend money and deploy goods at level beyond what is required for subsistence, unless we have some of the free time and convenience that money can buy, we suffer a loss more serious than poverty itself, a kind of status starvation, a sociological disinheritance. We become aliens in our own homeland—and often in our own home.” He further contends that economic failure should never have the effect of devaluing citizenship, in either the legal or the social sense. If it does have that effect, remedies must be seeked for, that is to redistribute money, such as through medical care, guarantee jobs and a minimal income. In view of this, a reasonable level of minimum wage which can uphold dignity is of utmost importance.

Another concern of the bill is about the target population being covered. The 265,000 live-in maids who are migrant workers are not included in the proposed minimum wage bill. The government argues that since the minimum wage is based on an hourly rate, it is too difficult to calculate their wages. It also says that domestic workers get accommodation and food as part of a package which is a benefit for them.

However, in my opinion, including the migrant domestic helpers into the proposed minimum wage protection is necessary. First of all, although the migrant domestic workers have a so-called minimum wage now (HK$3,580 or US$462) which is much lower than the proposed wage for the local labor, it is not protected by law and can be changed arbitrarily. They are always the first targets of the government in their “share the burden mantra.” For example, during the 2003 economic recession, the government imposed a HK$400 extra charge on the employers of migrant domestic workers, in the name of setting up a fund to help the local workers to get training and employment. Meanwhile, the government announced the reduction of minimum wage of migrant domestic workers by HK$400. This adjustment of the minimum wage did not require any public consultation and is obviously transferring the burden from the employers to the migrant workers. Later, when the government cancelled the extra tax in 2008, the minimum wage of the migrant domestic workers did not increase accordingly.

Some people may think that the work of migrant domestic workers is simple and easy, and the working condition or the existing minimum wage is much better for them when compared with the lower level wage in their original countries. Thus, no matter how low the salary is, many local citizens think that the wage is good enough to support their families; they gain a lot indeed from Hong Kong already. Under such imagination and simple discourse, in times of economic recession, the migrant domestic workers are regarded as competitors with the local workers and they are seen as robbing the resources of Hong Kong. They are never regarded as part of the local community; they are strangers. In fact, they never enjoy the right to vote or other rights of the citizens, and no politicians will fight for their interests as they do not have voting power. They are not “guest workers” who are invited to help the local people by reducing their burden. As Walzer proposes, in a democratic state, if citizens want to bring in new workers, they must be prepared to enlarge their own membership; if they are unwilling to accept new members, they must find ways within the limits of the domestic labour market to get socially necessary work done. Do Hong Kong people have the openness to treat the migrant workers as real members of our society?

Moreover, many people overlook that these jobs are tedious, demanding jobs that very few local workers are willing to do. The live-in workers are on-call 24-hours a day and usually have to take care of the senior or youngest members of the family. While the existence of the domestic helpers allows many female members of the family to work in the society and develop their careers, the domestic workers themselves are the ones who always face unfair treatment, sexual and physical harassment, and exploitation in terms of money and holidays. In some extreme situations, they are like slaves living in private settings. Representatives of the employers also recognized that the daily working hours maybe as high as sixteen hours; if they share the same hourly minimum wage as local labor, their wages become unaffordable to many employers. The opinion itself indeed reflects the inhumane long working hours and the unfair low income of the migrant domestic helpers. Their race, class and sex make them vulnerable in the working place. Thus, there is an urgent need to enact laws to protect the rights of the migrant domestic workers and the minimum wage is an important step. In fact, foreign domestic helper unions only request a minimum monthly salary of about HK$4,000 to 4,800 (US$520 to 616), and that the daily working hours be confined within eight hours. This is not demanding and worthy to be considered.

Before the minimum wage bill being formally tabled in the Legislative Council, there will be a period of time for the society to discuss it and share opinions. I encourage more employers of migrant domestic workers as well as other local people to think about these two concerns from the standpoints of the local low income class and the migrant domestic workers. We can try to think from their positions. Do we expect to receive such a low income which cannot provide a decent life for our family despite our hard work? If we are the migrant domestic workers, do you want to be excluded from the society? Are we willing to work for such long hours but have the so-called minimum wage for us be reduced arbitrarily whenever the government wants to do so? If the above answers are negative, you should express your opinions to the government to show your concern and care for these most vulnerable members of our society.

note [1] Gini Coefficient is the mathematical measure of income distribution that uses 0 to indicate perfect equality and 1 to indicate perfect inequality, named for Italian statistician Corrado Gini. The United Nations Development Program ranked countries and regions based on a number of factors, including their Gini coefficient.

(published on newsletter of the Hong Kong Christian Newsletter 2009 Decemeber Issue)

既熟識又陌生的感覺

經過十二小時的行程，飛機準時於當地時間八時三十分底達三藩市國際機場。由於出發前一個星期忙於收拾行裝及與朋友薦別，睡眠不足，所以上機前服了暈浪丸，一心睡個痛快。果然，在滿是小孩的機上我也能安然入睡，十二時小時的行程中斷斷續續睡了差不多十小時，到落機前兩小時才起來吃早餐。

過關時經歷了九一一後所有入境美國訪客必然體驗到的打手指模過程，這過程可謂費時，所以排隊兼打印用了差不多大半小時。出閘後遙遠而看見兩位前來接機的舊同學­—Frances和Emmanuel，他們都是我從前在耶穌會神學院讀書時認識的好朋友，一位是來自日本的女教友，修讀宗教與藝術；另一位是來自非洲Burkina Faso的耶穌會士，修讀系統神學。他們都是博士生，在柏克萊已有六年，即將畢業離去，Frances更會在今年九月為她的論文作口頭辯護。雖然我們主修的科目不同，很少機會在課堂中碰頭，但由於神學院舉辦不少學生活動，我們在彌撒、派對和研討會中也有機會見面。而且由於大家都是國際學生，漸漸便相熟起來。我們好幾年沒見面，一見面便來個熊抱，互相問候一番。然後由Emmanuel駕車送我回校園的宿舍。

有別於上次住宿在耶穌會神學院的宿舍，今次為了節省開支及省卻煮食的時間，我入住了由聖公會神學院的學生宿舍。其實，我就讀的柏克萊聯合神學院由九間學院組成，當中三間是天主教不同修會辦的神學院(包括耶穌會、芳濟會、道明會)，碩士生入讀前必須選擇遞屬一間神學院，博士生則可自由選擇與一間神學院聯系成為附屬學生，但畢業證書則由聯合神學院頒授。有關學生宿舍，每間學院的制度和運作方式不同，我從前住的是兩人單位，單位內由有兩個房間，兩人共用浴室及廚房，自己煮食。今次住的是一座三層樓宿舍，每層樓有十多個單人房間，全層共用一個浴室和廚房，學校則有飯堂提供膳食。

我的房間在二樓，已有基本家具，還有一只大窗讓溫暖的陽光照進房間內，日間不用開燈也廷光亮，而窗外可看到學校庭園及對面禮堂。開課後將有很多學生在附近往來，可能會有些嘈吵，到時可能要多去圖書館溫習。此外，我知道附近有一玫瑰公園，開放給公眾的，從前我便很喜歡前往散步及看書，季節合適時更可欣賞盛開的各種顏色的玫瑰，賞心悅目。遇上落時分更可欣賞落霞美景，好幾次我與眾人靜候日落後的漫天彩霞，真的美不勝收。我期待著有空可再一睹令人沉醉的景色。

第二天，我前往學院辦公室拜會負責入學申請的Dr. Kathleen Kook及學術事宜的Dr. Maureen。她們也很友善，為初來埗到的我給予不少指引。我耍特別感謝Kathleen，因為她在我申請期間真的幫了很多忙，每一次詢問她都很耐性地給予詳盡的答覆，令的的申請過程很順利。

此外，我在Frances的陪同下，探訪了重新裝修的耶穌會神學院，特別是新建的聖堂，當中最富特色的是在彩色玻璃窗上印上對教會、對宗教有貢獻的人物名字，而其中耶穌一字更用了多國文字寫出，表達了學院本身重視國際化和多元文化，以及信仰本身的包容性和本地化，甚有意思。當我走到樓上的辦公室時，遇上從前在芳濟會神學院認識的Paulina，她本身是一位美藉拉美矞修女，現時是耶穌會神學院拉美矞學院的主任，負責為拉美矞青年提供課程和牧民工作。

其後，我去了銀行、電話公司及市場辦理事務和購備日常用品。就這樣，過了在柏克萊的第一天。重回舊地，感到既熟識又陌生，與舊朋友重逢又結識了新朋友和老師。往後的日子應有很多挑戰，但有機會重拾書包過女全職學生的生活，我相信是來自上主的祝福及恩賜，我以期待的心情迎接。

人生中不同階段的選擇

過去兩個月，由於即將離港赴美進修，相約了不少新舊朋友相聚暢談，由認識十多年的中學、大專、神學同學，到在工作期間認識的正委同工、基督徒團體合作伙伴和教會朋友，再而至幾年前在美國讀書認識的同學和老師，以及回港後因參加堂區服務和參與傳信會舉辦的海外信仰生活體驗團認識的朋友，和較近期在中文大學工作才認識的同工……他們當中有些早聞我的讀書意向和志趣，所以不太驚訝，且給予不少鼓勵和支持；有些未有聽我提及，而且覺得我現時的工作亦穩定的朋友，則對我再出國稍感驚奇。在這些聚會中，我亦樂意與他們分享我作決定的過程和當中涉及的多項因素，包括我對未來長遠工作的考慮，對教學、研究工作和寫作的興趣，渴望對現時工作時間分配的改變，對神學、宗教和社會的關係在學問上的進一步探求，對平衡的生活模式的追求，我人生的價值優次等，最重要的當然是辨別天主在我身上的計劃和的的使命。所以，在過去幾年我一直在祈禱辨別和跟我的神師分享，希望藉此確定我的抉擇亦是天主的旨意。

無論怎樣，有機會見面話別兼相聚，不只是我個人分享為何此時此刻作出此決定的時間，亦都是互相分享生活和人生計劃的好時機，特別是三兩知己朋友見面的時候。這些朋友當中，有三位即將結婚，一位將為人母，有好幾位剛成為父母學習如何照顧小孩，一位辭去工作在港全時間進修神哲學，亦有剛完成博士課程正在找工作，有幾位剛換了新上司在工作上會遇上不少挑戰，亦有家中有年長父母需要投放更多時間去照顧，以及有正在考慮轉職及找一份更有意義的工作……他們都在經歷人生不同階段的挑戰。所以，不只我在思索人生追求的理想和生活狀態後作出重大決定。可以說，不論年齡，我們在不同階段都在面對不同的挑戰，當中涉及許多考慮和決定；每個人在不同的處境下作出的決定都可為將來展開新一頁，開展有意義和精彩的人生，當然，未來亦可能充滿未知素和可能性，當中可能需要克服很多困難。

當我跟朋友說我會辭去工作全時間讀書時，他們不少也很羨慕我可以拋開一切這樣做。我亦很感恩有這樣的機會學習和在海外生活，以及有這麼多朋友支持我，有家人給予我空間選擇我想做的事。我追求的不只是一個學位，而是一個平衡的生活，可以有更多時間看書、寫作、追求學問、祈禱、反省、服務和結識志同道合的朋友，期望未來幾年是豐盛和真正享受讀書生活的時間。

參與正義和平委員會的日子

(離港赴美升學前，正委為我舉行了歡送會，再次離開正委，令我想起了參與正義和平工作的經驗，以下是兩年前為正委三十周年特刊寫下的文章與各位分享）

參與正委，不經不覺已有十多個年頭，由任職全職職員到今天成為義務性質的委員，自己曾經驗的事件和參與的工作可謂不少，從越南難民到居港權事件、從六四事件到天安門母親運動、從人權教育到公民教育、從關社培育到社會訓導的推廣、從公安法到基本法廿三條、從本地貧富懸殊到經濟全球化…這些固然不只是我個人努力的成果和參與，在不少工作上，正委同工及其他人的參與和付出肯定比我更多。然而，自己在正委工作期間所接觸的都是寶貴的經驗，讓我體會到教會群體如何實踐社會使命，亦讓我看到在實踐過程中所遇的種種困難，以及面對的方法，並反思這些自己曾經驗的事件和參與的工作有何意義，有什麼值得繼續推展和探討的地方。

記得最初加入正委工作時，越南難民問題仍鬧得如火如荼。雖然當時已過了八十年代末期在沒有諮詢香港的情況下將香港定為「第一收容港」的緊張時期，但接著數年港府所推行的難民/船民政策，不但令越南難民的情況得不到改善，更令港人與越人的關係變得緊張。不論每次強迫譴返或搬營前後所引發的「騒亂」、懲教人員每次在搜查難民營時所捜出的大批「武器」，又或難民/船民在營內外的「犯罪行為」，都一一透過傳媒呈現在港人眼前。這些負面報導加上一些擁有一點政治權力的議員或官員的推波助瀾，在有意無意間抺黑越南難民，令沒有機會親身接觸這些從故鄉遠走他方的越南人，以及瞭解其處境和背後故事的港人，對越南人所得的大部份是負面印象，以至令港人與越人之間的鴻溝日漸加深。

這與近年我們面對的港人內地子女居港權問題不無相似之處。雖然時間與人物轉換了，但涉及的同是無議價能力的弱勢社群，在政府、政客及傳媒的強大宣傳攻勢下，加上涉及自身的利益和身處不同的社會位置，令大部份港人未能體會他們的境況，以及從另一角度分析和瞭解問題所在，因而更進一步鞏固弱勢社群的邊緣位置。

其實，不只當年的越南難民和近年的港人內地子女面對被邊緣化的問題。一直以來，社會上的貧窮和低下階層如領受綜綬者、新來港人士、無家者等等，都被視為社會的負累。如何推動更多信徒關心他們的處境，並促使有權力者改善其情況，是正委的使命，亦是正委面對的挑戰。改變當權者的施政方針固然不易，但更困難的是改變人心，喚醒更多人轉化，鼓勵信徒關心可能影響自已利益的邊緣群體。

事實上，基督徒與社會大眾無異，同樣有自私、關心自己多於別人、看到別人壓迫自己卻看不到自己壓迫他人的時候。南非前道明會會長Albert Nolan在他的著作Jesus before Christianity中提醒我們，基督徒要確認自己是基督的追隨者，透過我們的實踐，將耶穌對貧窮弱小者那份憐憫的愛重現。耶穌當時所做的，是希望將上主看待人之為人的價值取代世俗的價值；基督徒今天要做的，亦是重新發現人性價值，透過實際行動表達對人的尊重和關懷。

過去多年，正委一直堅持站在社會上最弱勢的一方，正是本著良知，欲效法耶穌基督這份關懷社會上最被人忽略和不被接納的人之精神。亦因如此，正委的工作不時遭到持不同意見的教友及神父批評，認為正委關注的議題太政治化、採取的策略和表達方式太激進、幫一些不值得幫的人。又或認為每個人都有自己的政治立場，即使主教的意見也只屬他的個人意見，何況是正委的意見! 這些講法多少反映某些人只站在自己的社會位置和利益，多於他人的處境著眼，以及忽略了即使自己傾向某種表達方式，亦應尊重其他人的表達手法(當然是和平非暴力的手法)。當基督徒堅持個人可以對社會事件持不同立場，因而支持一些犧牲弱勢社群權益的政策時，要敢於反問自己站在什麼位置和角度出發？有否認真瞭解和體諒有關人士及問題所在？有否以耶穌的言行教導為基礎作出發點？有否顧及大眾公益和團結關懷等社會訓導原則？而正委亦要有勇氣和耐性與持不同意見的人保持對話，向教友解釋清楚支持弱勢社群的理據，和澄清公眾的誤解。

面對社會分化的現象，以及一個不喜歡聽取不同意見的政府，正委作為一個推動教會內外正義和平的教區機構，所肩負的任務和使命異常艱巨。然而，心中有信仰支持的人，在最感無力的時候，亦是最易向上主開放的時候。我們明白到我們的支柱並非來自外在的權威，而是上主作為我們的後盾。在無懼當權者的施壓時，我們可更自由地想出種種面對問題的方法，辨別如何去回應。所以，任務雖然艱巨，但在聖神的助佑下，如耶穌所說，「軛是柔和的，擔子是輕鬆的」

作為教區關社機構，正委有更大責任與教友一起發掘歷史中耶穌的面貌行為，從而令信眾生活得更肖似耶穌基督，因而社會意識培育工作顕得格外重要。但到了今天，仍有不少信徒將靈修與關社、默觀與抗衡運動、祈禱與社會行動對立，未能整合信仰。曾於七­、八十年代活躍於民權和反戰運動的已故美國神學家Robert McAfee Brown 指出，靈修與解放或關社行動是二為一體，是事實的兩面。一種新的靈修操練要求的不是退隱而是參與；不是向惡勢力視而不見，而是要看清楚帶來這惡勢力的個人和制度成因；靈修包括整體生命，而追隨基督亦指以整體生命追隨他。

面對社會上種種不公義問題，正委的歷史任務仍未完成。我相信正委期望的不是即時的成果，而是對人的長遠影響及轉化，透過抗爭行動和培育活動、親身體驗和社會分析，讓信徒在主流價值觀以外獲得以福音精神為本的另一角度看法，從而對當前問題和生活方式產生新理解、新態度。這亦是正委透過見證行動，實踐自梵二以來傳福音使命的方式。爭取社會正義需要有團體支持，以團隊伙伴方式共同努力，與更多志同道合的兄弟姊妹攜手合作，正委提供了這樣的空間。

今年是正委三十周年，在滔滔歷史洪流中，三十年轉瞬即逝，但在現世的人眼中，三十年亦不算一個短日子。我有幸置身其中見證正委其中一段不算短的歷史，透過正委的事工實踐基督徒的使命，這對我個人生命實在有很深遠的影響。

（完成於2007年11月，刊於正義和平委員會三十周年特刊，2009）

影響一生的決定

Under the Tuscan Sun 是一部輕鬆的喜劇，在意大利風景迷人的Tuscany拍攝，卻帶出很啟發性的信息，指出任何一個看似隨意的決定，都可能影響一生，為生命帶來新方向。

影片由一個面對離婚的失意職業女性開始，在朋友的關心下，獲得前往Tuscany的機票。到達當地後，由於傷痛未癒，不想再回傷心地，偶然看到一間古老大屋，在一位當地人的提點後，決心隨心行事，買下屋子過新生活，希望在這地方找到真愛、婚姻及家庭生活。主角在適應新生活期間，曾因孤單而傷心自憐，但卻與因買房子而認識的經紀、裝修工人和其他鄰居建立友誼，亦遇上偶爾邂逅的當地男子，發生了一段短暫的浪漫情緣。影片末，主角在屋子為裝修青年舉行了熱鬧而歡樂的婚禮，而好友在探訪她的期間產下孩子，在她家中建立了家庭。雖然婚禮和家庭跟她原先的構想不同，卻實在地實現了她的夢想。

片中最發人深省的是經紀先生跟女主角說的一個故事。很久之前，地方政府計劃在一個荒蕪地區興建鐵路，最初建築時因很多人不清楚將來鐵路會為人帶來什麼用處和發展而表示質疑，但建議者認為先做好準備，後來可能有意想不到的作用，結果這小鎮後來急速發展，鐵路造福人群。這就如女主角買下屋子時什麼也沒有，不是為了結婚也沒有家人入住，但這屋子將來可能有很大用途，為朋友們帶來喜悅。

我想到自己的人生路可能都是這樣，從前所做的可能為今天舖路，而今天和將要做的可能為未來舖路。只要有信心有毅力好好完成今天要做的事，可能為將來會有用處，或可貢獻社會。這信息為即將出國讀書的我亦有一定的鼓舞作用，因臨近出發不免有些緊張。但既然做了抉擇，現時不應退縮，而是盡力做好，達成目標，不要思前想後為未來煩惱。

此外，近日閱讀李焯芬的《心無罣礙》，很多故事都具啟發性，其中一則是有關兩位末期病人的人生計劃。由於生命有限，兩位得知病情後都為自己定出清單，努力在有生之年盡量完成目標和計劃。其中一位努力把握時間，活在當下，去做自己想做的事，去實現夢想，體味真實的生命和人生。可能由於生活充實和愉快，過了好幾年仍健在，而且病情有好轉。另一位後來知道病情不是那麼嚴重，因而放下了這些計劃，如往常生活，最後計劃便不了了之，實現不了。這故事與上述電影一樣，再次提省自己，要把握現在，努力實現人生計劃和理想，不要被眼前的障礙所困擾和阻擋，更不要浪費光蔭。

在生命中孕育神學思想

　
每一位基督徒都有其獨特的信仰經驗，多多少少經驗過天主在自己身上臨在，感受聖神在自己身上行事。如果對天主毫無感覺，已不會再稱自己為基督徒。這種經驗，有人稱之為靈修經驗，有人稱之為與主相遇，德國神學家桃麗菲．蘇納（Dorothee Soelle）則稱之為神秘主義。

神秘主義聽起來好像神妙莫測，有些鬼秘，可望而不可即，似乎只有聖人和靈修大師才可親身體會，而不是一般基督徒可以領會到的。然而，蘇納卻認為，每一個人都可經驗神秘主義，只要他以開放的態度接受，因為上主願意向每一個人展露，表達祂對世人的愛，祂無處不在，在萬事萬物中都可發現祂的臨在。而蘇納一生從事的工作或信仰實踐，包括神學教育、寫作和政治參與，就是將信仰中與主相遇的神秘主義經驗與生活及社會參與連結起來。

成長在基督教家庭，學習於戰後德國的五十年代，生活在一個視成功為最高德行、擁有財富就擁有一切的社會，年輕的蘇納經常反問自己：人類對苦難的悲劇和不公義的世界有什麼責任？生活在舒適的第一世界消費主義安樂窩中，基督徒可以如何抵抗不義制度？信仰帶來什麼希望和救贖？這些腦海中的疑問遂成為她書寫神學作品、追尋神秘經驗、決意在世界中與主相遇和參與社會運動的原動力。因此，她寫作不是為了證明一己的學術成就或豐富自己的履歷，而是在面對人類苦難、大屠殺的恥辱、當前的社會處境下，用作表述內心深處對信仰及其實踐的理解，包括對神的創造、基督、苦難、政治、戰爭、基督徒的女性身份等，以及她對改變世界的委身和洞見。所以她的著作除了神學書藉外，還有自傳、詩歌和散文，當中結合了她的神學和政治思想，而這些作品都是她在生命中洞悉上主而孕育出來的成果。

在蘇納眼中，上主不是一位高高在上、遙不可及、與世界隔絕的世界統治者，每個人都可聆聽到在內心深處的上主聲音。靈性經驗不是將人抽離世界，而是使人與世界建立更深的連繫，因為所有受造物都是互相扣連在一起的。在她的代表作《沉默的吶喊：神秘主義與抗爭》中*，她詳細道出了她對神秘主義經驗的見解、可經驗上主的地方或環境（包括在大自然、痛苦、喜樂、團體和愛戀關係中），以及如何將這種經驗與抗爭及解放結連起來。

有別於傳統神秘主義的三個階段：淨化、光照、契合，蘇納提出的三個新階段是：驚歎、捨棄、抗爭，即驚歎世界中的美善（讚美天主），捨棄對物質、暴力和自我中心的慾望和虛假需要（失去天主），抵抗世界的不公義，以憐憫和正義治療受傷的世界（活於天主）。透過探討不同時代的神秘主義者的經驗，她試圖找出他們與社會的關係，從而打破「內在的」神秘經驗與「外在的」社會參與行動之分野。她認為真正的神秘主義具有強烈的先知性幅度，挑戰當權者和向世界的不公義說「不」，並培養一種與萬物合一團結的意識。　

驅使蘇納進入神秘主義的追尋行列，正是她渴望尋找經驗上主的愛之途徑，以及這愛催逼她成為建設上主的公義世界的助手。她身體力行，積極參與和平運動，於1968年在德國建立了一個結合祈禱默想、政治參與和神學反省的合一團體，名為Political Evensong；後來在美國教學時，亦積極反對核武、極權統治，以及嚴厲批評資本主義帶來的禍害。這些社會參與經驗更促使她後來對女性主義神學的興趣，反省性別主義、種族主義和對勞工的剝削對女性帶來的影響。

神學作品有時候給予人過於理論化，有脫離現實的感覺，但被視為其中一位解放神學先驅的蘇納則打破這模式，以生活中的具體經驗為出發點，以歸納和敘事的處境神學反省方式帶出基督宗教中的解放幅度。接觸過她本人和閱讀過她的著作的人，都說她人如其書，言行一致，能將她的個人經驗與神學知識、感性經驗與理性分析、默想祈禱與社會實踐一一結合起來。

* The Silent Cry: Mysticism and Resistance. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2001.

刊於公教報2009.07.05