Wednesday, December 29, 2010

An everlasting commitment

"I shall maintain my covenant between myself and you, and your descendants after you, generation after generation, as a covenant in perpetuity, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you." (Gen 17:7)

A covenant is a sacred promise between God and His people. A covenant in perpetuity is an everlasting commitment in which God promise to give abundant blessing to Abraham and his descendants.

We, living in the modern world and face changes everyday, know that keeping commitment is uneasy. Being affected by culture and environment, values change, attitudes and perspectives change...all these make keeping promise and commitment difficult. We see so many divorces between couples, so many relationships break up, international alliances change from time to time, business or working partners form and break, even friendship can fade out...However, God is always a faithful God and give us blessings all the time. This covenant and commitment will not change according to time and place.

However, sometimes we may take for granted God's commitment and even not aware His abundant blessing for us. I remember in the first few weeks of this past semester, I was so stressful and anxious with the two courses which require weekly papers and the Latin course which required me to memorize so many new rules and words. At a certain point, I complained to God and had doubt in my study here. Why God sent me here and did not give me enough strength and ability to do good. I worried that I could not write well in my papers. I worked overnight several times in order to submit the short papers in time. However, I did not get the result as expected. After two weeks, I adjusted my study time-table and employ another way to work on my weekly papers. I started making note-cards to learn Latin. Gradually, I saw improvement in my work. Now, the semester is over. When I look back, I see the abundant blessings from God. I aware that the Holy Spirit is helping me and supporting me all through the way. I know that God is always faithful to his commitment; it's me who walk away and do not have enough faith in Him.
After this semester, I affirm more that God is guiding me and give me a direction in my life. I'll continue to try my best to study hard and keep on the track so as to equip myself for my future ministry. When I have doubt again in the future, I'll remember the covenant and blessings that God promise to give us. I will do my part to keep this covenant because a relationship is always both-sided.


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

2010 Year end reflection

Time flies and my third semester at Berkeley finished on Dec 17, 2010. It was a busy and tough semester for me. I took three courses as last year but the workload was much heavier, especially when I have to pick up a new language—Latin. Luckily the professor is very nice and does not give us too much pressure. It is a two-semester course and I have to continue in the next semester. My other two courses, one on “Theology and Ethics,” another on “Faith in Human Rights,” are interesting and inspiring, but with many readings and assignments. Since I tried to cover all the required readings every week and handed in all my assignments on time, I had to study almost seven days a week. Anyway, I get it done and I learnt a lot during the process. The professors of these two courses said I did well. I am especially happy when the professor of the Theology class told me at the very end of the class that I did well on a difficult topic in my final paper. My paper topic is “Jon Sobrino’s Notion of Discipleship – Examining his Understanding of Jesus, God and Human Person.” I also received good comments for my weekly papers. From this, I learnt that one must work hard in order to get reward and cannot depend on luck. I understand better the saying “path may be difficult but will be rewarding” after experiencing this semester.

For my human rights class, the Noble Peace Prize issue and the prosecution of Zhao Lian-hai, the victim of the baby milk issue, inspired me to write a paper on “Human rights in China—Examining the Human Rights Values in the Chinese Confucian Tradition.” Both of these papers allow me to reflect further about doing theology and ethics in my own social context. I really thank God to give me the chance to go through this process and give me enough strength and energy to complete my work. I also thank God to give me encouragement and support through my family, teachers and friends, including yours.


This year, I am still living in the student dormitory on campus. Apart from Americans, some students are international students or visiting scholars, from Korea, Indonesia, Taiwan, Brazil, and Poland. I get acquaintance with some of them and became good friends.

There are also a few students from HK living on various dorms in the campus, mostly from other Christian denominations. We have gatherings from time to time to eat and chat. I learnt more about the protestant churches. It's a relaxing time with fun and we can use Cantonese to chat. We toured around San Francisco and Oakland in the past week when the semester finished.

In the next semester, I will start preparing my comprehensive examination proposal, a step before taking the exam and writing the dissertation. I will not take too many courses. I will just take Latin and a reading course (one to one independent study on special topic to help me preparing the proposal). I may stay here during summer to continue preparing the exam and may go back to HK a bit later. I hope I can get the exam proposal passed by the end of next semester so that I can spend next year working on the three to four examinations. My examinations will include Catholic moral theology with focus on social ethics, Asian contextual theology, Chinese Social Thought with focus on Confucian ethics.

In July, I went to Trent, Italy to attend a conference on theological ethics. It was an eye-opening experience for me and I learnt a lot through listening to various paper presentation on ethics.

In November, I went to Rome to attend the meeting of the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace. I presented a report on Caritas in Veritate (Pope Benedict’s most recent social teaching document) from the Asian perspective. I have spent several days working on the report and luckily It was well received. There is a new chairperson, Archbishop Turkson, a bishop from Ghana. He is very nice and tried to give everyone a chance to speak during the meeting. I also met a former student of the seminary and is my friend now who is in Rome and had a long chat with her. She is studying her STL (Licentiate of Sacred Theology) in the Gregorian University. Both of us are trying to work hard to meet all the challenges of our studies.

With all the challenges and study workload, I try to keep my life balance and healthy. I have spiritual direction with a Franciscan sister every three to four weeks. She is a great companion in my faith journey and gives me lots of encouragement and support. I attend mass every Tuesday in either the Jesuit school or Franciscan school. I also eat more fruits and vegetables and try to do some stretching exercises every day so as to lessen my shoulder and neck pain.

I understand that those of you who are reading this post must be working very hard and very busy too. Let’s pray for each other. I wish you have a blessed new year!

Monday, December 27, 2010

God take risk for each of us

"What is your opinion? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hill and go in search of the stray?" (Mt 18:12)

From a human perspective, it doesn't make sense. From the value of a market-oriented society, it doesn't make sense even more. The risk seems too high to take as one may lose the other sheep when the shepherd goes elsewhere to search, and still he may not be able to find that lost one. The opportunity cost is too high! Is it worth? But God has a different point of view. God value each of us and love each of us. God would not abandon us and leave us alone when we are in helpless and uncertainties. Nothing can stop God from searching us when God know us lost the way.

When God found the lost one, he would not confine him in a certain way. God would still give the lost one freedom and he may go astray again. Then, God would take the risk and search for the lost one again. I heard this message from a priest in a mass. What a powerful message! It's so true to us, isn't it? God use his love to move us until we choose to go back to him and choose his house as our home to stay in forever. God won't use force to ask us to return; nor He use law to abide us to follow Him. God use the power of love to touch us so that we turn to Him willingly and respond to His love in a concrete way.

There are so many times that we follow our own way to do whatever we want to do, to treat other people as we like and may hurt them, to seek for pleasure and satisfy our own desire and not caring the need of others. God know all these and give us freedom to do so. But He use various means to remind us that we did wrong and guide us to the right track. Sometimes we aware our fault but sometimes not. God wait for us to return patiently until one day we are touched by His love. God is always ready here to forgive our sins and welcome us back home.

May God grant us this sense of awareness and strength to turn to God and respond to His love!


Thursday, August 19, 2010

加深信仰經驗的宗教音樂


去年十月,美國柏克萊方濟會神學院為慶祝四十週年紀念,舉行了一場紀念音樂會,由神學院的新舊師生演奏由他們創作的宗教音樂作品,並藉此籌款成立獎學金培養這方面的人才。筆者與幾位同學有幸參與了這場音樂會,音樂會完畢,大家異口同聲說:這真是一次美妙的經驗!我們都被感動了,好像經歷了一次懾人的靈修之旅,心情久久未能平伏。


音樂會中的作品不是全然陌生,好幾首歌曲在神學院及堂區舉行的彌撒中已聽過,曾與其他教友一起詠唱。這些歌曲不但旋律悅耳動聽,歌詞亦富啟發性。因此,在彌撒中聽過一、兩次後已留下深刻印象,只是不知由誰作曲填詞罷了。這次在音樂會中再次聽到這些作品,而且部份更由原作者演奏或演唱,為筆者來說實在是一驚喜!


由於美國西岸的灣區聚居了不少亞裔人口,故教友當中也有不同族裔的人士。為配合當地教會需要,令教友更感親切,有些宗教音樂在歌詞中加插了亞洲語言。而在音樂會中,其中一首最令筆者印象深刻的歌曲,是作曲者採用了十多種語言在結尾部份唱出「多謝」,以示教會的包容性,在教會大家庭內無分種族國界。


無容置疑,音樂是世界的共通語言,旋律能震撼心弦。因此,音樂具有普世幅度,古今中外的音樂都有可能引起人的共鳴。然而,音樂亦可以有本地的特色,以配合不同環境的需要,傳統的中樂與非洲音樂就有很大分別,但各有動人之處。


就宗教音樂而言,它既是人向神表達讚美和崇敬之情的途徑,亦有助激發人虔敬之心,在內心深處更渴望與主接近。故宗教音樂不必拘泥於音樂的時間性或類型,認為只有某時某地創作的音樂才是有價值和可採用;筆者認為,只要音樂能加深人神之間的契合,切合教友的需要,則應以開放的態度接納不同類型的宗教音樂,而不應把一切當代創作拒之門外,因它們亦能在禮儀中起著重要作用。否則,筆者便在沒有機會在禮儀中聽到像文章開首提及的當代創作了。 


當然,不同的埸合需要不同的宗教音樂;莊嚴隆重的場合需要莊嚴的音樂,以年青或中年為主的教友團體可容納更多當代創作,包括慢板的和輕快的音樂,而靜修時當然需要適合默想的寧靜和平的音樂。


去年的一次個人靜修中,偶然在飯廳發現幾張由菲律賓某修會出版的宗教音樂光碟,於是留下來聆聽欣賞。筆者一邊聽音樂,一邊細閱歌詞,原來當中不少是由聖詠改寫成的。一直聽一直聽,對歌詞中的讚美上主之情甚有共鳴,而美麗的音樂則彷彿把人引領到上主的身旁,這就是宗教音樂奇妙之處,不是追求陶醉的感覺,而是能使人與上主更加接近。



(刊於公教報 2010.8.15)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

華人基督徒婦女口述歷史


新書推介:《華人婦女與香港基督教口述歷史》

上主創造每一個人都是獨一無二的,而每一個人背後都有一個獨特的故事。看畢由香港中文大學黃慧貞教授和蔡寶瓊教授策劃和編輯的《華人婦女與香港基督教口述歷史》,更令筆者深感不少看似平凡的基督徒婦女,其實擁有不平凡而感人的一生。

書中記載了二十二個華人基督徒婦女的故事,包括來自天主教和基督教不同宗派的婦女。她們都是年過七十,生於二、三十年代的國內或香港,當中最年長的已屆九十高齡;她們閱歷豐富,為家庭、教會和社會作出了重要貢獻。她們的一生可謂各自精彩,細閱她們的故事不但令人大開眼界,使我們這些未嘗過戰亂和流徙之苦的一代,看到上一代女性如何在艱難的處境中成長,更讓筆者從不斷自強和知所感恩的基督徒婦女身上反省自己的信德和使命。然而,正如黃慧貞教授在前言中指出,「華人基督徒婦女在香港扮演的角色和貢獻,不論在香港歷史或是香港基督教歷史之中均鮮有提及,有關她們的歷史差不多是一片空白。」這本書正好填補這片空白。

本書的特別之處在於所有故事均由故事主人翁親自口述,從她們的角度描述自己的生命故事。雖然訪問者在訪談時有提出問題,而撰文者也有加入感想,但寫成的故事都經當事人審閱。因此,可以說故事是用她們的語言和聲音發聲,其中一位婦女更直言,她童年時不愉快的經歷,在父母過世後一直很想說出來,但苦無機會,直至是次的訪問,才可以把心意全說出來。

書中每一個故事都從她們的童年(甚至她們的父母)時代開始,直至現今的生活,跨越了不同年代,但她們的遭遇各有不同,背景差異甚大,故每個故事都有其獨特之處。全書分為四部份,側重點有所不同,分別是「穿過歷史的流年」、「進出家門內與外」、「在廳堂與廚房之間」和「巾幗不讓鬚眉」,當中道出了童年時生逢亂世的流徙生活和成長歷程,全心全意為家庭所付出的一切,如何同時兼顧家庭和工作,以及如何在社會和教會中闖出一番事業和擔任領袖角色。

成長在經濟開始起飛、生活相對安穩的香港,筆者對於書中那些一個個因生活在亂世而飽受風霜,但最終也咬緊牙關熬過來的人生片段尤其印象深刻,令人動容。筆者一邊閱讀這些不一樣的基督徒婦女故事,一邊在想,這些女性究竟是憑著什麼力量,令她們克服種種困難,走過這段艱辛歲月,並肩負起照顧家人的重擔而亳無怨言?又,是什麼因素令這些女性在有限的時間和空間仍能努力學習,幹出一番事業來?可能正如其中一位婦女所言,她們不是要像中國女人般認命,而是相信神的安排,「祂讓我受磨練,學會珍惜,不要驕傲。」

書中亦記述了五位天主教徒的故事,她們都選擇過獨身生活,全身投入教會事奉和工作。她們都在年少時就讀於教會學校,在學校或堂區參與宗教活動和社會服務,因而有機會接受培育,並在日後成為出色的女性領袖。有幸參與部份訪談和撰文,筆者深深感受到她們的委身精神和對上主的感恩之情,因而在遇上任何困難時,信仰都不會因此而動搖。

2010.8.8 公教報

Sunday, February 28, 2010

愛你的仇人

你們一向聽說過:『你應愛你的近人,恨你的仇人!』我卻對你們說:你們當愛你們的仇人,當為迫害你們的人祈禱。(瑪5:43-44)


每當基督徒被問到,什麼是耶穌的倫理教導核心時,大部人都會即時想到「愛你的近人」,而且會引用耶穌向門徒所說的兩條最大的誡命,即愛天主和愛鄰人。至於誰是我們的近人和如何去愛他們呢?在今日的福音中,耶穌為我們作了進一步的解釋,即愛近人包括愛我們的仇人,這是對我們的待人態度的挑戰。


為一般人來說,愛自己的家人和朋友比較容易,畢竟他們與自己有親密的關係;關心與我們沒什麼關係的老人家和智障人士也不不太難,因為我們都有一點點憐憫之心;然而,要我們主動愛那些雖不至不共戴天或世仇,但或許會令我們感到煩厭和沒有什麼好感的人卻絕非易事,而且是一大考驗。耶穌就是要挑戰我們的耐性和容忍度,挑戰我們既定的想法和待人處事態度。


另一個耳熟能詳的福音故事──慈善的撒瑪黎雅人比喻,正好為愛仇人的教導作了具體的說明和示範。這故事突出之處並非那位撒瑪黎雅人對一位被傷害和處於困境的人的善心和憐憫,而是他是一位撒瑪黎雅人──猶太人人的世仇。他竟出錢出力細心地照顧仇人,至於那些同族的肋未人和經師,地位顯赫有權有勢,卻對自己人不屑一顧。


放在今日的社會中,我們對哪些人沒有什麼好感,覺得他們煩厭,甚至認為他們是社會的敵人呢?是有色人種、難民、移民?


或許,在今時今日的中國社會,因民族或宗教原因成為仇敵的不多,卻存在很多政見立場和階級不同的人。人們面對的不只是愛仇人的挑戰,而是在面對仇敵的仇敵受傷害時,是否仍有勇氣表達對他們的愛?因為這時候,不只是是否願意改變自己的態度和作出行動去愛仇敵,而是有可能因愛仇敵的仇敵而作出犧牲!


從這憐憫近人和愛仇人的教導和近期國內發生的事,我進一步推想,類似的故事在中國社會正不斷發生,而且挑戰更大。


一位母親的兒子因誤食有毒奶粉而身體受傷害、一位父親的兒子因建築商偷工減料而在地震中慘被活埋、一位農民因地區政府強行收地發展而失去家園,他們都像路經耶利哥的猶太人被搶去財物或自己或至愛的身體受傷害。他們身心都遍體鱗傷而被遺棄;向政府部門申訴不被理會,向再上層當局陳情,希望得到賠償或取回公道,卻反被指生事和破壞國家形象。那些有權力人士就像肋未人和司祭,對受傷害的老百姓不聞不問,甚至進一步壓迫他們。這時候,只有國內的維權律師某願冒險為百姓透過法律取回公道。可惜的是,他們沒有撒瑪黎雅人般「幸運」。撒瑪黎雅人除了被猶太人看不起外,也沒有遭受嚴重的政治迫害或人身安全受威脅。但不少維權律師卻被當局警告、威嚇、停牌、起訴、拘禁,甚至失蹤,生命安全與否也不得而知。


其實,國內維權律師並不視政府為仇敵,他們只是出於正義和法理精神協助受害者和家屬。只是政府卻習慣了把所有動搖管治權威的人視為敵人而多方打壓,哪管是出於善意和幫助無辜受害者。


活在今日的中國社會,當然要為仇人和迫害者祈禱,同時,更要為那些面對危險仍願意為敵人的敵人而付出愛的人祈禱。


Saturday, February 20, 2010

牧者的身教與言教

一句不經意的說話,一個隨意的行為,可能為當事人來說是漫不經心,微不足道,但聽在其他人的耳,看在其他人的眼裡,卻可能做成很大影響,哪管是正面或反面的。

所以,時常說,父母和老師的身教和言教同樣重要,甚至身教的份量比言教更重。一位父親如在家中講電話時經常破口大罵下屬同事,又怎樣勸說在學校與同學吵架的兒子,同學之間要相親相愛?一位購物狂的母親可以如何說服女兒不要亂花錢打扮買名牌?一位業餘熱衷炒股票的老師,又如何能阻止學生賭波賭馬?在社會層面,口中常說支持民主發展、追求公平社會的政客和既得利益者,為求己益,不擇手段,又如何取信於民?這些言行不一的事在現實中經常出現,效果如何大家當然心中有數。

而在教會內,司鐸和牧職人員不但要宣講天國的喜訊,更肩負起見證的重任,所以,一位牧者所宣講的信息是否具說服力,端乎他的行為是否與所宣講的一致,至少對筆者而言如是。

幾個月前的某天,筆者參加了神學院的開學彌撒,彌撒後重遇奧神父,一位美國方濟會士,亦是幾年前認識的一位老師,現時已退休。他主動上前與筆者擁抱,我們互相問候寒喧一番。我想起當年第一次遇見他的情境,仍歷歷在目。地點亦是在聖堂內,當時他主持黃昏彌撒,參加者不多,只有十多人,大部份是學生。當時我初到貴境,人生路不熟,初次到海外進修。彌撒完畢準備離去之際,竟見到奧神父與初次見面的學生一一握手,更向我們幾位亞洲學生親切問好,其後每次見到他,他也會主動打招呼。後來知道,原本奧神父曾到國內和其他亞洲國家任客席教授,而基於好客之道和明白國際學生的困難,他對我們特別照顧,常主動關心我們的學習及生活情況。

此外,由於在彌撒中常聽他講道,又有機會上他的課,曾聽到他講及對社會上弱小者的關心,又會聽到他對教會一些僵化教道的批評,以及對不同神學意見的寬容,更親身體驗到他指導學生撰寫文章的認真和循循善誘,和認識到他研究神學的入世態度。這些都反映出他所教導和宣講的都不只是空談,而是透過生活見證宣講,所教授的神學亦是來自現實生活的體驗和與其他學者的交流心得。這一切令奧神父的宣講和教導更具說服力,亦從他身上看到耶穌基督親民愛人的影子。

耶穌在世的日子,除了以說故事、講律法和誡命教導門徒和群眾外,更以自己的行動示範了如何愛天主愛人。這種重視身教和德行的傳統在天主教和中國社會中亦有重要角色;教會有聖人傳統作為信徒成聖的學習榜樣,中國人社會亦尊崇古代近代聖賢的教化德行。

每位信徒對司鐸都有一定的期許。我們未必要求每位司鐸都像聖人賢人一樣,而筆者亦從不追求前文安兄所謂的魅力明星領袖,但心裡卻會期望他們具備牧者的風範--律己宜帶秋氣,待人如沐春風;即待人包容關懷,對己則嚴謹有要求。

(刊於公教報2010年2月21日)